The decision about our son going back to school was not an easy one. I think it is the hardest decision we have made post-NICU. This summer, he participated in a couple mainly outdoor camps so we have dipped our toes into exposure but school is a different ball game. I knew if we made a decision I would need to be all in one way or another.
My husband and I had many discussions about the pros and cons and what both of our kids need right now. Without going into too much detail, our son does have some behavioral challenges (even pre-COVID) that the lack of structure have exacerbated. This really caused us to analyze our son's needs along with Claire's needs.
It is so hard to balance having a healthy child and a high risk child because you always feel guilt that you are making the wrong decision for one. Add COVID and the complexity of simple decisions is overwhelming and requires tons of analysis.
When it came to school, my husband and I considered a couple main factors to help make our decision. One is the fact that my husband is a first responder and has frequent contact in public so we really can never keep a tight isolation "bubble" intact. However, he is an adult and I do trust him to take precautions in a different manner than preschoolers.
The second big factor for us was numbers and looking at what case distribution was like in our area. I reviewed the pediatric COVID numbers every day all summer. Although the numbers still aren't great, they are steadily improving. Further, we are more concerned about when flu and COVID overlap. I do think there is a strong likelihood we will have to pull him from school later in the year when this happens even if they remain open so we wanted to enjoy this "window" of opportunity now.
Third was the fact that we pulled him from school last January, approximately two months earlier than mandated school closures. With his inevitable pull this year, I am concerned he will miss an entire year of instruction.
I don't think this decision is perfect. In fact, I am still terrified we are making the wrong choice but I am at peace with it enough to keep moving forward. I know that there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to school and I think that is what is making it so difficult. There is no cookie cutter yes or no answer for anyone, even kids with CF and their siblings.
A lot of CF families, including ours, have to make individualized decisions based on their unique circumstances, risk assessment and level of comfortability.
Here are a few things I am doing to help ease my anxiety to feel more comfortable for back to school:
1. Review all school COVID-19 policies and Reinforce "Sick Etiquette"
It’s important to look at your child’s school's policies and go through it with them over and over. They say repetition helps toddlers retain information. My son is 4 and honestly he knows more than most 4 year olds about germ prevention but I still repeat and go over the rules with him.
I make it fun and do “quizzes” (Example: what do we do if we have a sneeze? When do we wear our masks? What do we do if our friend is coughing?)
I love this book on Amazon for younger kids to understand germs and to learn "sick etiquette".
https://www.amazon.com/What-Germs-First-lift-flap/dp/0794540937/ref=sr_1_5?crid=3XU2UGNRLINP&dchild=1&keywords=what+are+germs+book&qid=1599514231&sprefix=what+are+gers%2Caps%2C239&sr=8-5
2. Become the teacher's pet
Not literally but I emailed our son's teacher as soon as he had a class assignment to let her know about Claire and the precautions we take as family. I did this last year as well and it was much different because then precautions were not a thing and it was such a foreign concept for us to be so vigilant. My hope is that my email opens the line of communication with our son's teacher so she can communicate concerns or issues throughout the year. I also brought Clorox wipes to donate to his classroom because gifts don't hurt and gifts to keep the class clean are bonus.
3. The parking lot wipe down
I wipe our son’s hands and arms down with sanitizer before he gets in the car at pick up. I keep a go kit in the car with hand sanitizer and baby wipes in my back seat. I also wipe down his water bottle and take everything away from him that he could touch (lunch box, backpack, etc)
4. Up your cleaning game
I’ve been stocking cleaning products in preparation for school. I am upping my daily cleaning routine to include our son’s room and bathroom every day. We purchased an extra air purifier for our son's room. I will also clean the common areas more and run our purifiers on Boost mode more than normal.
5. Temperature checks
We purchased two thermometers so that we can keep one at the door when we come in from school pick up. We take our son’s temperature when he comes home from school and right before bed time. I plan on incorporating this into his bed time routine so it will just be another thing to check off the list.
6. Shower immediately after school
Our son strips his clothes in the garage and goes straight to his shower. He does this now when he did summer camps so it is routine he is used to but he does resist sometimes. I keep a supply of shower goodies to entice him if he's particularly resistant (shower paint, shower sprays, new soap, etc) Bonus: my son has showered by dinner time and I am able to bathe Claire alone.
7. Utilize space you have
Bathrooms seem to be a major germ haven from my research. If you have multiple bathrooms, try to "assign" bathrooms so that less people are exposed to one bathroom setting. If you don't have multiple bathrooms, make sure you change the hand towels daily or use paper towels to dry your hands.
7. Separate laundry if possible
I only wash Claire’s clothes with my clothes right now but I am even more careful now that our son started school to separate all laundry. I also use Lysol laundry sanitizer with each of my son’s loads. I also sanitize our washer/dryer around once a month.
Here is a tutorial for sanitizing your washer with cleaning vinegar (which can be found at Target):
https://www.today.com/series/how-often-should-you/how-clean-washing-machine-t20131
8. Have a contingency plan for exposure or illness
The fact of the matter is our son's school may shut down and he may be exposed. I believe preparing and planning takes a little stress off this potential situation. This would require us to separate as a family to isolate him. We have already thought about what we would do. We have decided my husband would move into my mom’s house with our son and my mom would swap into our house. My husband didn’t take any of his earned vacation this year when all our travel plans were cancelled. We figured this would allow us some flexibility if we need him to take time off.
9. Lead by Example
I believe that a lot of habits are formed at home. If your children are used to wearing a mask, hand sanitizing or cough etiquette at home the more likely it will be second nature at school. My kids actually want to wear masks even when they don't need to. Claire knew how to hand sanitize at 8 months old. I know that is not normal but kids will amaze you with how much they are capable of learning from your example and when you "normalize" the not normal circumstances we are facing.
There are no easy decisions right now about school. If things change, we can change our plan. We can adapt and so can you! We will get through this and I truly believe our kids will come out stronger, more aware and more compassionate if we allow it to take that direction.